Mutton for All!

So, it seems like I keep running into men whose most distinctive physical traits are their sideburns--more aptly described as "mutton chops."  By "running into," I really mean "come across in my perusal of literature, history, and literature depicting history."  Example: Gibbs from Pirates of the Caribbean (still not sure how I feel about Stranger Tides).  I am developing an unfortunate attachment to them.  I am probably more exposed to them due to my recent choices in literature, which is also influencing my recent choices in historical matters, but it is all moving in concentric circles at this point.  I still have no idea where the term "mutton chops" comes from, unless someone somewhere has some really ugly livestock.  I have, however, found some awesome chops.

Prince Albert was, more or less, the King of England, though lacking the title.  Maybe you've heard about him.  That Prince Albert in a can joke?  Yeah, that's where it gets its name.  There's another kind of Prince Albert that we won't talk about, though, due to its...inappropriate nature.  Back to the man, though.  He was a great leader, a fantastic non-philandering husband (did you know that "philander" starts with a "ph"?), a loving father, and a thoroughly modern man.  And, furthermore, he has great chops.  Just look at them!  Netflix recently added Young Victoria to the streaming list, and now I can't get enough reading on Victoria.  And with Victoria, comes Albert, the love of her life.  And with Albert comes facial hair.

Through my googling for mutton chops, one man kept resurfacing to a place of prominence--and with good reason.  Elisha Marshall has chops to the moon and more.  Just look at 'em!  About the only thing Wikipedia has on him is that he was a general for the Union Army out west.  Honestly, if this man is remembered for anything in the years to come, it will be his awesome heights of facial hair.

The term "side burn" supposedly comes from THIS man--Ambrose Burnside.  He was a soldier and a Rhode Island politician, and famous for his facial hair.  His chops are pretty off the charts.

This startling gentleman is Caspar David Friedrich.  He was a painter of landscapes.  It begs the question of why he allowed himself to be captured on canvas with such an odd expression on his face.  It looks like his left eyebrow is about to leap off of his face.  He did ensure, though, that his magnificent chops be recorded.  Good man.

Computer Problems

So, one of the computers in the open office area was acting up this morning.  I was called in as a "computer expert" (I assure you that they overestimate my abilities around here), and left to work on it.  About ten minutes later I had this conversation with a coworker that I shall call Mandy.

Mandy:  You still haven't figured out what's wrong with that thing?
Me:  No, so I'm doing a system restore.  It takes a while to complete.
Mandy:  Is that going to remove the accounting software we installed last year?
Me:  No, I only restored it to last week.
Mandy:  Oh...are you sure?
Me:  Quite.

If the accounting software was removed, it would be easy-peasy to reinstall it.  The whole thing is web-based, slow as snot on a cold day in January, but very easy to restore.  If I lost the database containing the information for our materials testing...well, that would truly be upsetting as I have no idea how to get it back.

I finally figured out what the problem was, though, AFTER I did the system restore.  The antivirus was updating and scanning at the same as soon as the computer booted.  All I had to do was open the antivirus (which took a while), cancel the scan, let it update the virus database, and then let it scan.  It's been golden since.  That poor little computer just couldn't handle it doing both at once.  I tried to explain the problem to "Tiffany," who uses that computer the most.  The conversation went something like this.

Me: I figured out what's wrong.  It's the antivirus.
Tiffany:  Well how'd that get on there?
Me:  It's on every computer...
Tiffany:  Well, no one else's computer is having this problem?  Are you sure they all have it?
Me:  Yes, I am.  The one on this computer is just malfunctioning because of some scheduling problems.
Tiffany:  Can't we just take it off the computer?
Me:  No.  That would only make things worse in the long run.
Tiffany:  But aren't those antiviruses bad for computers?
Me:  No, viruses are bad.  Antiviruses are good...just frustrating and painful at times.

In order to make her understand the problem, I ended up comparing the antivirus to a mammogram: painful to deal with but necessary for health.