Computer Problems

So, one of the computers in the open office area was acting up this morning.  I was called in as a "computer expert" (I assure you that they overestimate my abilities around here), and left to work on it.  About ten minutes later I had this conversation with a coworker that I shall call Mandy.

Mandy:  You still haven't figured out what's wrong with that thing?
Me:  No, so I'm doing a system restore.  It takes a while to complete.
Mandy:  Is that going to remove the accounting software we installed last year?
Me:  No, I only restored it to last week.
Mandy:  Oh...are you sure?
Me:  Quite.

If the accounting software was removed, it would be easy-peasy to reinstall it.  The whole thing is web-based, slow as snot on a cold day in January, but very easy to restore.  If I lost the database containing the information for our materials testing...well, that would truly be upsetting as I have no idea how to get it back.

I finally figured out what the problem was, though, AFTER I did the system restore.  The antivirus was updating and scanning at the same as soon as the computer booted.  All I had to do was open the antivirus (which took a while), cancel the scan, let it update the virus database, and then let it scan.  It's been golden since.  That poor little computer just couldn't handle it doing both at once.  I tried to explain the problem to "Tiffany," who uses that computer the most.  The conversation went something like this.

Me: I figured out what's wrong.  It's the antivirus.
Tiffany:  Well how'd that get on there?
Me:  It's on every computer...
Tiffany:  Well, no one else's computer is having this problem?  Are you sure they all have it?
Me:  Yes, I am.  The one on this computer is just malfunctioning because of some scheduling problems.
Tiffany:  Can't we just take it off the computer?
Me:  No.  That would only make things worse in the long run.
Tiffany:  But aren't those antiviruses bad for computers?
Me:  No, viruses are bad.  Antiviruses are good...just frustrating and painful at times.

In order to make her understand the problem, I ended up comparing the antivirus to a mammogram: painful to deal with but necessary for health.

"The whole thing about the women is, they lust to be misunderstood" --Will Rogers

Overheard this conversation today:

Mrs. Mary: I'm leaving early Friday.  I have a date.
Monique:  With Walter?
Mrs. Mary:  No, Walter's my son.
Monique:  I thought that was your husband's name, too.
Mrs. Mary:  My first husband, yeah.
Monique:  Oh, then you don't want to go with him.
Mrs. Mary:  He's deceased.
Monique:  Then you really don't want to go with him.

I love the office.

"To err is nature, to rectify error is glory." --George Washington

Apparently I messed up the required percentage of compaction on this report. Chinh left a face to express his distress.

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